如履薄冰

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上个周末和Jimmy聊天。他问我结婚之后的感觉如何。我想了好久,才说了四个字:如履薄冰

真的是如履薄冰,一点都不假。就在昨天晚上,我还和老婆争执关于买车的事情,以致于还有些生气了。后来我平静下来,在睡觉前给她再打了电话,沟通了好久,才算两个人都心平气和--有一点大概我老婆不知道,我很早以前给自己定下一条规矩:我希望在我每天躺下睡觉的时候,我老婆的心情不坏。保证老婆每天开心是很难的,但是我希望她至少不要对我有误会。换而言之,今天的矛盾今天解决。

(嗯,有点象广告词里面说的:今天的赘肉今天解决)

我早上爬起来又想了想昨天的问题,觉得老婆还是对的,所以刚刚给她发了邮件道歉。

如履薄冰不是要我自己小心翼翼的约束自己,连大气都不敢喘,而是要自己随时注意保持警惕,注意观察两个人之间的关系处理,不要让矛盾积累。从某种程度上来讲,这样做并不轻松,但是如果我自己不小心,放任自流,终有一天,我需要付出更大的代价。我已经从我自己和周围的朋友身上看到了太多的例子了,我不想再犯一次错误。

其实简单来讲,如履薄冰不过是要求我在两个人的关系处理中采取积极的态度而已,如果你在意这份感情,这个要求其实并不过分,只不过很多人忽略了。说到底,婚姻是脆弱的,结婚证书和海誓山盟能够说明的是在那一刻你是认真的,却丝毫不能保证以后能够做到(我和Judy讨论的时候说过这句话)。也就是说,结婚不过是如同设立一个两个人都同意的目标,而如何达到这个目标,却只能由两个人的具体行动说了算。如履薄冰的心态应该是一种让我能够兑现我的承诺的需要而已。

我想我老婆真的是我能够找到的这个世界上最合适我的女孩了。

写于五月十一号,二00七年,早晨,咖啡店--结婚一个月又一天

什么事情最难

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刚刚突然想到这句话:

我想最难的事情是我们不想去做的事情--虽然它看起来很容易,比如说给很久没有联系的朋友一个电话,比如说简单的对老婆说声我喜欢你

just emailed to ofoto.com

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I just emailed my resume to ofoto.com. And again, I am waiting for responding.

I have a question in hand: if job hunting is a sales, how can I sell myself? why I am different from the other new graduates? How should I represent to the employer that I am the right candidate?

This is a good question. And I currently have no answer.

Teaching: relax environment and focus discussion

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[Teaching]
Have to keep the class in relax environment, and keep it focused at the same time. And this requires two conditions: The question raised must be interested by student; And second, as the controller, teacher must lead the discussing towards the real conclusion he/she want to get.

[Job Hunting] Feb 08 2005 How does it feel if no reply

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So far, I have send my resume to good.com, Sun Micro and IBM. But God knows if anybody can read it. At this moment, I realized that job hunting is not as easy as I thought. I always heard that people send hundreds of resume out but no single reply. Now, it is just one week,and I start to realize how does it feel.
Jub hunting is not a easy task, and only the tough one can go through. And I have to keep thinking. There must be a smart way to doing so.

[Job Hunting] Feb 07 2005 open my mind

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I just did a search on Craigslist.org. And I found good.com is hiring. I browsed their web site, specially the information about their CEO, and I ask myself: why I haven’t considered a small to middle size company in the past weeks? What stopped me to think out of those famous companies?
I guess I went into a wrong path in the past few weeks – I limited myself into those few big companies. And in order to do good in my job hunting, I have to open my mind first. One other example is that maybe, just maybe because I have no evidence yet, semiconductor companies are good candidates too, as long as they have stable and truly technical project going on.

[Job Hunting] Feb 04 2005 starting point

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I put my resume online, and I even build a small site to display them. But currently I don’t have much idea what kind of job I am looking for.
I have some java experiences, but I am currently doing perl (which is not bad); I want a developing position, but I am working as a QA now; I like low-level system programming, but I don’t qualify most such position. I want to be very busy, but I have to continue working on my degree, and that requires a low-pace and not busy environment…
Life is full of confliction, isn’t it? And living in the world is just about balancing.

I had a talk with Orla. She gave me some guiding points: The project has to be interesting to me, otherwise work there has no differents suicide; and tThe company has to be stable in some degree, otherwise I have to face the fear of layoff, and eventually destroy the pleasure of my life; third, tThe size of company doesn’t not matter, but if I want to really learn something, I have to be busy, otherwise it is just wasting my time;
I believe those guide line can give me a clear idea about how to choose a right company.

And one last point from myself: if I have not offer on hand, what can I choose from? – I mean I have to get some offer, otherwise, I don’t even can talk about “choose”.

So I have to act.

life as a journey

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Life is a journey, so every moment is unique. There is no turning back.

So don’t look back, and just enjoy it — even it is hard.

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